family, parent, autism

Many times in our lives, we come upon a fork in the road. One choice leads you down a certain path and the other choice leads you down a very different road. Finding out your child has Autism is complex enough, but eventually we all come to a similar fork in the road. Do I choose my child, or do I choose to please the surrounding neurotypicals, those judgmental people around me?

family, parent, autism

It sounds simplistic but we realized almost immediately after the diagnosis that you can be judged, alienated, and sometimes even rejected by your peers and perhaps even family.Continue Reading

When I started school, I noticed that I did not like certain things around me. For example, the fire alarm for the monthly fire drills unnerved me to no end. The feeling that it could happen at anytime almost drove me insane.

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Some other problems I would have would be certain smells in the cafeteria would make me ill or the loud noises in the hallways would make me cover my ears because it was too loud. This is called a sensory overload, where certain everyday aspects of life can be uncomfortable for a child with Aspergers. Now, the main question is “What can I do for my child?”.

Well, my mother got involved with the school. She talked to the school staff about my Aspergers and how some sounds or smells can cause a sensory overload. By doing this, they were able to accommodate me i.e. taking me out before the fire alarm went off.

The first thing you can do is do what my mother did:

Talk to the school staff that knows your child and tell them about Aspergers and sensory. Don’t be afraid to tell them the details! Then, see if they can accommodate your child like they did with me.

by Samuel Allen

family

While we, and the world in which we live, is always changing our Asperger child struggles with this uncertainty. How do we, as the parent help buffer the certainty of change with the challenge it brings to those living on the spectrum? This is a good question that affects many families, and poses discussion!

family

Though we cannot control the world nor the small corner in which we live, we can somewhat control the space in which we call home.

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discipline, disciplining, asperger's children

Oftentimes aspies exhibit challenging behaviors just like any other child. However, aspies have other factors when it come to learning and emotions that render most traditional disciplinary methods ineffective; whether the discipline takes place in school, at home, or anywhere else.

discipline, disciplining, asperger's children

This blog outlines some important considerations for effective aspie discipline.Continue Reading

Samuel Allen insightSo you’ve just found out that your child has Asperger’s Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism. What’s the next step? As an 18-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome, I can provide some insight:

People with Asperger’s seem to lean towards wanting space from others, and in some cases, family members as well.

If an Aspie is feeling unnerved by loud noises in the house, give them space and let their room be their sanctuary; it’s their quiet zone.

It has calmed me down in the past, so it should work for other Aspies as well. I’m mindful not to keep music and TV in other rooms too loud.

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It’s not easy to hear that your child is going to struggle in certain ways. The fear of the future can be downright paralyzing and while all children are perfect in their own way, it’s not what you dream up when you first think about having a child.

Denial

Nobody fanaticizes about therapists and sensory breaks. Instead you think about nursery bedding and buying cute tiny little shoes that your baby will truly never leave on. Having gone through a diagnosis process twice with my amazing and extraordinary loves, this is my best advice: “Denial Never Wins!”

Okay so let me explain, but first I need do a little storytelling. Stay with me, because I promise that this is going somewhere. The other day I was in the kitchen, all in my mom zone doing mom things, when my little cutie ran over to get me to do what he was doing. Not only did he run over, but he also invited me to join!Continue Reading

Forward: Many years after childbirth the memory of the pain subsides and the first embrace of your child remains strong. You don’t forget the pain…but the thrill of your child’s arrival occupies the majority of your feelings.

The same has occurred with the maturing of my autistic son Sam. I found this brief blog (below) that I had written when he was still in early grade school. The feelings were still fresh and I thought I would re-post as many will relate to the raw feelings that have seemed to fade and the years roll on.

A doctor once told me, “With aspergers and high functioning autism, it gets easier for them, socially, as they age.” I have found this to be true!

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The story of Sam cannot be told with just a list of positive aspects. It is their lifetime of physical and mental struggle that you work to overcome for your child. Such is the daily journey of my son…one that my husband, youngest son and I take with him daily as he lives with a form of autism titled Aspergers.Continue Reading

It’s easy to worry about whether the plan for your child is the right one. Will this be the right school, therapy, or path? The problem lies in the fact that as your child grows and life changes their needs are going to change as well.

You will never truly know whether the choice you made for your child is gong to take them 10 steps forward or 5 steps back. The fear of this can be downright paralyzing to us as parents. The hard truth is that we aren’t always going to get it right. We desperately want to, but we can analyze something until someone figures out how to lasso the moon and the outcome will still be as unpredictable.

I am not saying that research or doing your due diligence isn’t necessary, because it is a crucial part of the decision making process. It’s just that after enough Google work, online chats, and talking to different professionals your head is left feeling like it is going to spin right off your neck.Continue Reading

I recently read an article about Autism, as I do many that pop onto my radar via social media. I don’t often agree with everything I read, just as you may not agree with everything I write. Heck, maybe you are upset I even suggested Asperger’s was Autism. I am simply using the term because today many different disorders are considered to be on the spectrum, not because of my personal opinion about it. That aside, the article was focused on the large increase of children considered to be “on the spectrum”. This is isn’t the first time I have seen ASD painted like some new up and coming trend that had far too many people jumping on the bandwagon. Is the awareness and the number of diagnosed cases greater than before? Yes. Does that make it the cool new thing that any parent wishes for and would do anything to have to face? NO!  Look, we all love our kids unconditionally and every person has their own set of strengths and struggles. With that said it’s time to clear up a few things about “Autism Parents” and the idea of a trend setting diagnosis:

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I will never forget the day that I picked up my very perceptive 3-year old daughter from preschool and she said a combination of words that stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Mommy, why am I different than the other kids?”

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I looked back in the rear view mirror and saw tears streaming down her little face. I had to pull over in that moment. I momentarily felt verbally paralyzed and wanted to cry myself. I asked her to clarify to make sure we were talking about the same thing before I responded.Continue Reading

Becoming a parent means that you have a lot of extra things to worry about. All kids are unique and need help in their own areas, but what happens when you find out that your child needs more help than most? What goes through your mind as a doctor tells you that your child has a developmental delay of any kind? What will having Autism Spectrum Disorder mean for your son/daughter? Why do you grieve at first like you lost a child that is sitting right in front of you?

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Fear and worry can often be more limiting to you than something that seems limiting to your child. If you are the parent of a child with ASD, it can be incredibly overwhelming in the beginning. There are lots of decisions to be made right away. After all, time is of the essence and you may feel like you already lost some before your child had the diagnosis.Continue Reading

Moms come in many forms. I happen to be a single mom, a stay at home mom, a work from home mom, an autism mom, and so much more. Honestly I don’t care what kind of mom you are, because we are all equally great, and we all rock!

Scared baby against crazy mother

No matter what your day looks like as a mom, one thing we all know is that it is one TOUGH job. There are days that you know you completely rocked and others that are not so fantastic, to say the least. There are moments when I just nailed it and thought that someone was going to drop down from the sky and present me with some type of award. Because clearly I deserved it!

On the flip side there have been moments where I have questioned whether someone was checked out mentally when they gave the go ahead for this to happen in my life. Okay so that is a bit extreme, but you get my point and I know for a fact that you can relate.Continue Reading