Tag Archives: special needs

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Self-Care and Parenting Aspergers: Pencil in YOU

The day you become a parent changes everything and there will always have to be a give and take to find the balance that our souls so desperately crave. The problem lies in the fact that for many of us, while we know parenthood is an amazing blessing, it often turns into an all take experience.

As parents, we are desperate to understand and help our children succeed and prevail over any challenges that may come their way. Far too often I see parents who, out of the most genuine love, lose themselves while helping their children.

I believe that cases of this increase when your child may need extra interventions and have daily struggles that require more to get through the basics.

Pencil In You

Having a child diagnosed on the spectrum can bring a variety of different emotions and responsibilities depending on the day. Your priorities often change because they have to, and the scale of give and take seems to tip even more off balance.

While you are in love with your child and grateful for them you are also tired, stressed, and often worried. The stress of processing your reality and navigating it year after year can add a lot of stress to the other members in the household as well.

Now to get to the good stuff! It’s time to put all that aside and think about YOU!

It’s time to get some balance in your life and that means that as parents we need to take some time to be selfish. Just go with me here and I promise you that in the end the other members of your household will be grateful, and so will you.

I get it, you may not have the time, money, or energy for anything extra. However, those are all excuses, so get out your calendar because it’s about time you penciled yourself and your priorities in.

Here are a few steps you need to take in order to keep yourself happy, healthy, and functioning:

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Finding the ABILITY in Asperger’s

Many say that Asperger’s isn’t a disability, it’s a different ability and I completely agree. We all know that children and adults with Asperger’s bring so many unique gifts to the table. With that said, it is important as a parent that you understand and truly believe that statement. You need to take that thought and hold onto it because as a parent trying to help your child navigate this world, it isn’t always going to feel that way.

Child with balloons

It is our job and right as parents to worry in general, but during times of struggle it elevates a little, okay a lot, and your worries and fears stretch far beyond the soccer field. The game plan, the therapies, and the progress are all part of your life too. The struggle lies in the fact that the plan will need to change, that was once right no longer will be. Just as you think you are smooth sailing, a small change in life may cause the need to reset everything.

Many people see children with Asperger’s and they don’t understand that their needs are lifelong. They don’t see that even if you watch your child succeed at a young age, there will be new territory to navigate as they get older and new situations arise. Of course every child is different, heck every person is, but there is a big underlying root of anxiety, fear, and discomfort for those living the Aspie life.

Perhaps that doesn’t make you feel any better and might even scare you more. I’m sorry if that’s the case, but I truly believe it is important to acknowledge all of the feelings and territory that come with the job. This is a job that comes with a lot of hard work, confusion, sadness, worry, and readjusting. There are going to be days when it doesn’t feel like “a different ability” for you or your child and you need to allow yourself to feel that.

You need to hear and find others who know the guilt that you may sometimes feel when you doubt yourself.

There is a guilt that you feel when you are sad for your child during times of struggle, and when deep down inside you wish that struggle wasn’t there. You will have people tell you that all children struggle, which they do, but it won’t help or bring you any comfort. There are days that you will just feel lost and you will cry.

No matter what happens in life, one thing will always remain true. You will find a way to help your child and come up with a new plan to address life’s new obstacles. You will always rediscover your footing and help them do the same. You will always love and adore your son or daughter and you will never stop fighting for them.

While some days or time periods may scare you or even bring doubt, you will always once again feel that Asperger’s is simply a different ability, and those are the moments that are going to carry you through.

So even if you don’t feel it at the time, always carry that thought with you because I promise that the storm will pass and once it does you are always going to need the reassurance! It may be a wild ride, but the times that you get to celebrate that extra “ability” and triumph are what makes it all worthwhile.

By Jessica Nieminski

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Using Steps to Breakdown Tasks and Activities for Academic Success

In a previous blog we discussed how to increase motivation and focus through the use of a Bingo card. The use of choice and positive reinforcement make for a powerful teaming of strategies. This blog will continue to break things down into smaller, more doable pieces of information. For instance, on the checklist or bingo card, it is time to complete 5 math problems, but another layer of support to add to this is a list of the steps necessary to complete those problems. From early grades through secondary, activities can be enhanced with a list of how to complete that activity, a task analysis.

Academic Success Through Steps

As with most strategies, the benefit extends beyond students with an autism spectrum disorder.

Nicole Romero, a 2nd grade teacher, has embraced the idea of visual supports to aid instructional success for ALL students. She has decorated her centers with specific steps for completing specific tasks from using a number line to adding two digit numbers. These visuals that are posted for the class may also be provided as individual cards or pages for students with an autism spectrum disorder or other special need.

Elementary Examples: visual examples 2

k-12 pic 2

visual examples 4

So how does this look in high school?

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The Journey of Parenting a Child with Asperger’s with Powerful Successes

The Arc Towards Justice

When you raise children on the spectrum (and with other challenges) life is full of unknowns and uncertainties. Our son, Daniel, was not officially diagnosed until the 5th grade. We knew the way he reacted to situations and approached learning in school was not typical. Every year, as he moved through Elementary School, I would talk with the teacher about his differences.

I tried to make the teacher aware of his challenges and offer my support. The teachers were generally dismissive – I always had the feeling that they felt I was being too protective and was over involved; a helicopter parent.

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New Resource for the Texas Special Needs Community

I am so excited to tell you about a new website for families of children with disabilities and special health care needs: Navigate Life Texas  (AvancemosJuntosTexas). We at Aspergers101.org are always seeking informative new streams of support for families trying to offer their autistic/aspergers child the very best in services and Navigate Life Texas fills the bill! If you do not live in Texas, then by all means inquire about getting a Navigate Life (or one like it) in your state/country.                     – Jennifer Allen/Aspergers101

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This bilingual website was designed to be a place of support and a source of help.  It was created by a task force that’s part of the Texas Health and Human Services Commission.

It was three years in the making and the website development team spent a lot of time talking to parents across Texas.  They wanted to make sure the content would meet family’s needs.

One unique feature is that every page of the site was written, reviewed, or edited by parents of children with disabilities and special health-care needs. 

The website has content to address the needs of parents of children of ALL ages. It contains articles on: