Having a life means facing our fears and going out
There comes a time in every Aspie’s life, that having a life means facing our fears and going out into the world. I love to sing, do stand up comedy, go to restaurants and sometimes (although very rarely) I even want to go to a party. Does this mean I don’t have Aspergers? Of course not! People with Aspergers want to socialize, but years of getting it wrong may knock the desire to try right out of us. It is never going to be easy.
Performance, on the other hand, may be quite comfortable for many aspies, because people stimulate the amygdala in our brain causing a rush of adrenalin, perfect for belting songs on stage, or short bouts of witty banter. But authentic communication in a crowd—and by a crowd I mean more than one—very difficult. We get overloaded, awkward, bombarded, confused. Rocket science may be simple, but social conversation is an unfathomable mystery for many of us. Here are a few basics to help you in social situations:
- Keep in good mental and physical shape, through healthy diet and exercise
- Have interests and activities that raise your self-esteem. If you like and value yourself, others may follow suit.
- Manners are the oil which make situations run smoothly. Please, thank you, hi, how are you, nice to meet you, goodbye, have a nice day, may all seem trite and meaningless but they are cues, transitions so that things can flow. Consider them signposts or turns in the road.
- Always ask how the other person is, and it helps to throw in a “how is your family?” (or pet, or girlfriend, etc.)
- Don’t go on and on about yourself or your interests unless asked, and not for more than a minute.
After an extensive career broadcast marketing, Jennifer and her husband searched for answers when their oldest son hit the kinder years with great difficultly. After finally learning that their oldest son had Aspergers Syndrome, she left her career in television and became a full time mother to both of her sons. Jennifer elicited the participation of her sons and together they produced several independent programs including a children’s animated series titled Ameriquest Kids (now distributed by Landmark Media) as well as her documentary and book titled, Coping to Excelling: Solutions for school-age children diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism or Aspergers Syndrome.
The need for more information encouraged Jennifer to elicit a team of autism experts to provide weekly, original content to a website free to anyone seeking to live their best under the diagnosis of High-Functioning Autism/Aspergers Syndrome… appropriately titled: Aspergers101.com.