Our son Sam is now 22 years old. Together we have discovered Autism first from a stage of confusion, then diagnosis and ultimately the journey toward understanding and adjustment. This journey hasn’t been taken by just Sam or me. The education and life-changing decisions included our family of four and those whose chose to remain linked to us either by love or simple curiosity. Autism became us. As we learned to navigate the education system, employment and higher education, we’ve taken you along.
Through our website Aspergers101, together we have reached for stories of enlightenment and searched to navigate our next stage in life. Now at age 22, driving and nearing college graduation, Sam has reached a personal plateau that bares sharing. With an absolute delivery he declared, “Autism does not define me”. He further went on to explain that up til now, he would introduce himself to educators, peers or the seldom few who initiate conversation as “Hi I am Sam…and I have autism.” He felt he owed them an ‘explanation’ for his social awkwardness, his lack of eye contact or his seemingly bland behavior.
When starting a new college course of study, Sam would introduce himself to the Professor and offer a checklist of behaviors that potentially might appear odd or off-putting. Sam has always gone under the assertion that he would advert the looks of dismay by acknowledging his diagnosis of autism. As of last week….Sam no longer feels that way.
As I listened to my son, who rarely offers such introspect, an overwhelming sense of grateful satisfaction overcame me. Sam had found his stride and genuinely felt contentment with all the wonders that are him! No explanation required, he will (as he put it) be known as Sam the person and not Sam the person with Autism. I wanted to share this plateau with you as you make your journey. Whether you experience this feeling for yourself or with a loved one, it deserves pause as it reveals how the person with a diagnosis suddenly realized they are a person first. That all the behaviors and obsessions are a part of them as they are for all of us.
We then discussed how he is now positioned to take the knowledge of his journey and share it with others who’ve just begun theirs. For any young person, finding their strengths while addressing their weaknesses is a big accomplishment. Realizing you’ve found that balance while diagnosed with Autism, well, it’s worth a blog and a bit of a celebration! (we take those where we can!)
I will concluded this blog with a declarative statement Sam made many years ago. A conference-attending Mom asked him the question sheepishly: “What does it feel like to have autism and should I tell my son he was just diagnosed?” Sam paused a moment and replied:
“Why would you not tell him? He should know why he thinks differently. Don’t think of Autism as a weight, think of it as a pair of wings with which to fly.”
I think Sam has found his wings.
by: Jennifer Allen/Founder & CEO Aspergers101
A graduate of Abilene Christian University, Jennifer had a long career in TV Broadcasting. Upon learning her oldest son Sam had a form of Autism called Asperger’s Syndrome, she left her career and became a full-time mother to both of her sons. Jennifer elicited the participation of her family and together they produced several independent programs including a children’s animated series titled Ameriquest Kids, as well as a documentary and book titled, Coping to Excelling: Solutions for School-age Children Diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism or Aspergers Syndrome. She formed the nonprofit Asperger101 to provide on-going free resources related to ASD at Aspergers101.com and has implemented the Texas Driving with Disability Program and continues to grow the statewide initiative today. She and her husband have recently retired to their property in the Texas Hill Country.
In 2003 I saw a need for the children of not only Autism but all the different disorders under the spectrum of disorders. Not realizing the incredible need for therapies for our youth now and later on in life. So I started a therapeutic riding center, because of my love for horses. My understanding of the equines body language and that with the abilities of the kids not disabilities. I had helped over 500 children with at least 8 years working full time. You would see miracles happen and it was so refreshing fun but alot of work. I experienced kids with high functioning Asperger’s being able to communicate better, have better eye contact, posture hand eye coordination and so much more. I would love to restart the programs where I left off but this time instead of East Coast i would like to do it in the mid western part such as Missouri. My son now 19 will be graduating this year from charter school has been busy with competing with the gaming world. We are letting him be a kid and concentrate on his school work before asking him to decide about the rest of his life.
I love this. My prayer is that my 16 year old gets to this place. We live in nearby and I would love for him to meet Sam someday.
The perfect remedy to bring me out of my persistent fog. Our lives truly feel like a blur at the moment. Hope is dangling faintly in the distance yet so hard to reach! This perspective gives us inspiration and demonstrates the unique qualities that we should each celebrate! I really appreciated this post today.