Too frequently, Aspies face highly adverse circumstances. On top of the necessary challenges that they must embrace, Aspies face many unnecessary challenges that threaten to offset the balance in their lives. Many of these challenges result from in-home or in-school adversities during childhood.
These harsh experiences sow toxic seeds that later become poisonous. However, every aspie has at least some control of their lifestyle and significant control over how they interpret and develop from such circumstances. Of course, even adults require aid along the way as they walk on the path to prosperity. Here are some examples of difficult early life situations for people with Aspergers, and how to resolve them:
9 Adversities and Solutions
1.Absent or improper role modeling means lower EQ, IQ, and unhealthily slow rate of personal and professional development. This usually occurs when both parents are not in the picture or have a toxic relationship with one another.
- Solution: The aspie must get a conceptual understanding of the traits that they must have to achieve the desired goals or outcomes and how to use those traits. The aspie can get this understanding through observance of all factors that directly AND indirectly impact the aspie’s own conduct.
- This promotes critical daily personal development and careful consideration in decision making. The aspie can take this initiative independently or with mentoring of some kind. Ideally, the aspie deserves the best of both self-help and mentoring.
2.People who are good influences might not always exist in the Aspie’s life. Like any person, the aspie deserves to have someone in their life step in and show concrete, model examples of actions, decisions, and behaviors in various contexts (mentor, teacher, parent, and friend, or anybody else in young aspie’s life).
But, in the event that nobody understands how to aid the aspie, the aspie must survive and continue to find quality people in his/her life who will take the time to understand and support them. The aspie must keep going and never lose the good sense of self, no matter what happens.
- Solution: The aspie must accept the brutal reality they face first. Then, they must practice such things as strategic thinking, goal-setting, mindfulness, and self-acceptance in order to remain on track with their education and lifestyle.
3.Abuse of various kinds can serve as a negative influence. In the case of physical abuse, this could result in a source of pain or an unhealthy coping mechanism, such as drug abuse. Aspies could feel tempted to give in to abuse when they struggle to fit in and to combat their negative repetitive thoughts and feelings. For example, alcohol and drugs suppress negative physical sensations to calm the rapid thoughts in the aspies mind.
- Solution: AVOID ANYTHING ADDICTIVE OR SIGNIFICANTLY UNHEALTHY AT ALL COSTS. Replace it with more constructive and insightful materials, such as books, extracurricular activities, and anything else that will allow the aspie to enjoy and to learn from personally suitable social, educational (and professional for adults) experiences.
- Spiritual experiences are also recommended. For domestic or family abuse, seeking counseling, time away from home (not all the time) is appropriate. The above suggestions also apply here.
4.Aspies become voiceless if nobody gives them enough chances to speak. This leads to learned helplessness, misguidance, and awry educational experiences. This situation could lead the Aspie to not acknowledge the right thing(s) to do in a given instant, or risk involvement in criminal situations in which the aspie is either the victim or the delinquent.
This can happen at home, during IEP meetings, and during transition times. The aspie deserves to be in control and adults must lend that primary control to them.
- Solution: The aspie must always remember his/her goals for the present and future and to understand how best to lend their voice in different situations. The aspie must always have or find a method to access and to receive the supports that they require and deserve.
5.Poor Health: Aspies might not have knowledge or motivation to understand or maintain good health practices. Poor mental health leads to poor physical, emotional, social, and spiritual health and wellbeing. It is a detrimental domino effect that ruins an aspie’s life.
- Solution: The best measure here is to make mental health, strength, and safety as top priorities. As the aspie cultivates health-promoting habits, they will become more passionate about this matter.
- Then, the aspie can develop a resilient attitude to change and adversity in a ways that do not impact the aspie’s mind, body, or spirit.
6.Mood disorders can be caused by many things, such as not receiving attention as a child, emotional neglect, or their own perfectionism left unchecked, to name a few. For example, depression compounds on itself and usually arises from inadequacy, exclusion, or any times when the aspie is not doing something enjoyable or productive.
Sometimes, self-injurious behaviors result. The aspie deserves the chance to a happy, fulfilling lifestyle.
- Solution: First, the aspie must own the disorders, rather than have the disorders own them. Once the aspie is equipped with the knowledge necessary to counter the disorder, they can begin to work towards personal development goals.
- Next, the aspie can eliminate one toxic tendency after another; at least until the point where the disorder no longer has a strong grip on the aspie’s lifestyle.
- Then, they must take opportunities to discover passions and educational paths that lead to promising careers.
- Finally, the aspie can take advantage of their complications to become a lifelong learner and sustainer of personal strength against major odds.
7.Toxic Relationships: Aspies can become abusive, narcissistic, or psychopathic under adverse circumstances. Aspie’s restricted interests, insecurities, and control over every detail could undermine any relationship.
The Aspie could fall victim to their own tendencies or their partner’s tendencies. Further, poor impulse control can result in violence, poor decision making, and lack of future planning.
- Solution: A caregiver must explain in detail the characteristics of high-quality relationships of various kinds, and what constitutes as red flags. For example, part of the discussion regarding sexual relations encompasses protection, as well as how protection fails.
8.Suicidal Thoughts: This can be a product of mood disorders, facing adversity without personal stability, or comorbidities that are unbearable to the aspie. The Aspie may feel isolated and not have any place to turn or anyone to understand them.
- Solution: The aspie can avoid suicide if s/he has a caring support system and family member or close acquaintance who reminds them of how much the aspie is worth in their life. Someone who is there for the aspie can make a big difference with a few words.
- The aspie can also find self-worth through the journey of self-discovery and self-determination.
9. Crimes: A misguided aspie could be the subject or cause of all kinds of terrible incidents. The possibilities are numerous and aspies require prerequisite knowledge to safeguard against this type of harm.
- Solution: The aspie must receive and/or self-provide knowledge of the various kinds of crimes and their ramifications. Unless the knowledge is comprehensive, the aspie may eventually get into such troubling situations.
There are Always Solutions
No matter what an aspie faces in life, there is always something to take from every challenge. There is always a solution and at least one positive, insightful perspective to adopt. The aspie must never quit as they tread along hard roads with many possible wrong turns and obstacles.
If an aspie embodies uplifting beliefs, such as the belief that everything happens for a reason or the belief that you will eventually serve your life’s purpose, the aspie cannot truly go wrong and can make a difference in the world. After all, knowledge is a life-changing and life-saving power!
By Reese Eskridge
Reese Eskridge is a Production Technician with Fairville Products who is passionate about working in the sciences (biology) and wishes to take his work experiences further into the fields of Educational Neuroscience; Science Fiction; Freelance Writing; Disability Advocacy; Public Speaking; Leadership and Entrepreneurship. Aspergers101 is proud to offer the insights and perceptions of the talented Mr. Eskridge to our team of bloggers as he is a great example of living life on the spectrum to it’s fullest!